The Vending Machine

[aidenpons]

You get a note saying 'How can you insert a force? That's like inserting gravity.'

 

I try to insert a Higgs boson, but can't because they're undetectable. Still, I push a whole load of air into the coin slot knowing that there is a Higgs boson in there somewhere.

[Ben24x7]

You get Carbon Dioxide

 

*Inserts Rock Raiders United 2*

[aidenpons]

All your crystals suddenly vanish, all replaced by small shard of ice.

 

*inserts a cat, somehow getting it through the coin slot and thus quickly runs out of the building in order to avoid the SPCA.

[Ben24x7]

SPCA pop out of the Vending Machine, arrest you, and return the Cat to it's original Owner

 

*Inserts fake iPhone 6*

[mumboking]

You get a bent iPhone 6 Plus

*Inserts RRU's database*

[Ben24x7]

You get every single post on RRU and a fake Transmission

 

*Inserts copy of Rock Raiders PS1*

[le717]

You get the vending machine asking "Do you refer to the NTSC or PAL version?"

*Inserts The Vending Machine*

[mumboking]

BANG!

*Leaves "Out of order" note on vending machine remains*

[Wirza]

*buys new machine*

*inserts candy*

[noghiri]

You get assorted chemicals and something that looks like chocolate powder.

 

I insert natcO

[Ben24x7]

You receive natcO in exchange.

 

*Inserts insert*

[mumboking]

You get an SQL statement.

*Inserts Enter*

[Ben24x7]

Out comes Delete

 

*Inserts Script by William Shakespear*

[Seaborgium]

You get "the quintessence of dust".

 

Inserts artificial intelligence.

[Quisoves Potoo]

You receive a paranoid android, the product of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, with a GPP (Genuine Person Personality) installed.

 

*Inserts no tea*

[Ayliffe]

You get a used tea bag.

*Inserts Greenpeace*

[Seaborgium]

The vending machine self destructs at their irrationality (yes they are even more irrational than "no tea").

[Ayliffe]

*buys new machine*

*inserts Peter Capaldi*

[Wirza]

You get $100

inserts   "      "

[Ayliffe]

You get a refund.

*Inserts IKEA*

[mumboking]

You get an angry Swede.

*Inserts Tesco Extra*

[Ayliffe]

You get a horrible overpriced sandwich.

*Inserts Shakespeare*

[Ben24x7]

You get what I inserted earlier

 

*Inserts Minecraft and Microsoft*

[Ayliffe]

You get a fan rebellion.

 

*Inserts Homepride Fred*

[mumboking]

You get Mr Benn.

*Inserts a can of energy drink*