6 Years later... wow this site still exists!
Entry posted by someswedish in Just stuff ·
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Hello people who probably don't know who i am, I'm Someswedish (although i usually go by Mr.TheSweDragon now days) and i was a somewhat active user around this forum like 6 years ago or so? though i did mostly just lurk and stuff, i sometimes did create some dorky drawings and videos for the forums and generally have a good time back in the day.
But at some point years ago, I kind of just dropped out with no word. I felt guilty about it but it was something i needed to do since i couldn't say back then. But today i decided to write in this blog i apparently had to explain what happened and why i left, what i have been doing for those long years and where i am today and what i may do now. Mostly for the benefit of some of the old user i lost contact with.
For convenience I'll put each point into a spoiler so you can read them without being drowned by words or choose which topic is most relevant to you.
Who the heck is this dragon dude?
Like i said, i was a user who was semi-active on the forum and eventually moved to be semi-active on the private Skype group, then later on the private Discord group.)
I joined the site in 2014 as i did play LEGO games in my childhood, though i was an adult back then i still had a lot of trouble with communication and interacting with others for a couple of reasons i rather not get into detail. Basically Social interactions is difficult for me but not as bad as some other people as i can have normal conversation with people i trust and are comfortable with.
At first i was pretty nervous with the users back then, but warmed up to them and made many friends within the group, it was a very special time for me as i kind of felt like i had a decent group of people i could consider friends. Maybe not very intimate but even still be comfortable around them for the most part.
I also had many opportunity to make drawings and such for the group, mostly of dumb in jokes and other silliness, this ended up shaping my dragon persona (or fursona/scalesona if you like) as the pink wig wearing orange dragon you see as my avatar as well as a character called the safety dragon born from a bunch of silly jokes about amusement parks.
So... dragons eh?
Dragons have a very special part of my creative life, they are fun to draw and can be designed in many ways not only because they are fantasy creatures, but have many variations on many mythologies.
Though many consider them to be evil monsters, I believe that no creature are as bad as humans, as all non-natural tragedies can always be linked back to humanity. Thus when given the option, i always sympathies with dragons over other creatures in games and other interactive media. Same with anthropomorphic animals who i also fond of. I guess you can consider me a furry, but i would like to make it clear i don't have kinks or fetishes for either anthros or dragons.
(decided to make it clear since someone out there is going to wonder)
Why did you ditch this place?
Long story short: The main reason i left is because i stopped enjoying being part of the group and felt like there was no point being part of it anymore.
Since its been years i left, details are a bit fuzzy over the details, but from what i remember is that the general community changed from what it used to be. I think one thing was that Memes where being more prolific than usual, especially in the Discord group where i had most interaction with the members,
It was less about jokes within the community and more overused memes that where being spammed constantly everywhere and some people within the group couldn't restrain themselves as they spammed the same meme constantly.
WHY U NO LIEK MEMES!?!?!?!
Everybody has their own idea of what is funny, some people thing some thing are funny while others don't. That's fine because everybody is different and its important to show respect to that.
I actually used to like memes back in its infancy when it was just Zelda CDI, rick roll and whatever else dumb stuff people made up for. the main reason is that it was part of a sub-culture, a small part secluded to itself so if you weren't in the mood for such things, you didn't need to deal with it. People where also a lot more creative with memes and weren't using it much as a tool to boost their popularity with cheap gags.
Modern memes however are very, even outside the internet. You cannot get away from them and it sucks. Even if they are a little funny, you'll eventually experience them so many times that you're beyond sick of them to death. But the majority of memes are so half-assed and uncreative that i honestly have little to no respect to anybody who believe that they should be spread to every part of the internet.
I don't think you are cool for dabbing, anybody can dab. If anybody can do something like dabbing then its not special nor cool. yet the only reason people think its cool is because memers spam them and any other meme out there so much you either go crazy or be become brain washed and spam them yourself.
And i don't want any part of that brain washing garbage.
Finally, i simply stopped feeling that many of the members where my friends and more associates i have to be polite to just so we don't get into fights and ruin things for everybody. While i still trusted some members with my feelings (and still hang around with them after i left), most other i really didn't care much about anymore. A few of them i ended up simply hating because i felt like they didn't really respect me or my feelings.
I'm not going to point fingers on who but eventually i just felt stressed being part of the community.
Why can't you trust people?
I generally am untrusting to most people, mainly because i spent a majority of my school years being bullied by practically every student in town. Yes, a lot of kids are bullied and no matter how much we think it sucks, nothing gets done by it because people don't really care enough to do anything with any real effect.
So i have a hard time trusting people since i constantly fear that people are either going to make fun of me or attempt to make me miserable, I don't mind harmless jokes when people are goofing of, but if i reveal something about me and someone takes the opportunity to make fun of that. Then i feel insulted and i cannot trust the person who made fun of me, since if they didn't hesitate to insult me once, what's to stop them from doing it again?
Yes i know, its the internet and its filled with people who enjoy being jerks and making people miserable for the LOL's, but when i joined RRU many years ago, the last thing i expected was my feeling being hurt by the people i think as my friends.
Sadly at some point in my last few moments in the group, certain people made fun of my feelings and i lost trust with them completely. Maybe if i told them that i was hurt by them then maybe they apologize and make an effort not to do it again. But my very nature told me that people like them would never feel sorry and just do it again since its in their nature, maybe they didn't mean any harm because they don't perceive it as harmful and wouldn't understand why i would be hurt and think in being childish and unreasonable.
Never the less, once that trust it broken then it may never be fixed. That's what happened to me in RRU and was a major motivator for leaving.
There may have been other reasons, but those are definitely the two major reasons i couldn't stand being part of the community anymore. Being part of it was just stressfull and i couldn't cope anymore. In fact it was so bad that i constantly feared having to interact with the group in discord or seeing oh yet another stupid loss.jpg meme that makes fun of some crap web comic page about misscarriage or lazy comic design or whatever it was people though it was funny because i cant bring myself to care about that cursed meme after seeing so many times on the discord group.
So during a sleepless night when i had work the next day, i finally decided to leave the discord group and declare myself a former RRU member.
What did you do after you left everything behind?
After leaving, i still had contact with a few members i were very close friends with and played games with them (ironically in a group named RRU Gaming) and had mostly fun times playing various of game online.
At some point i got back into video making on YouTube, something i spent time on back during my Roblox days which i had totally abandoned too since the game is horrible. I've spent my time making videos and weird videogames, playthrough (both with and without commentary) and sometimes some multiplayer fun with my friends.
I also upload some art i make on twitter (but don't use it for much else) and rarely stream some games in which i make a highlights video on YouTube.
While on one hand i kind of miss being part of the RRU, on the other i feel much better not having to deal with all that crap in the past now.
Also i now finally have my own apartment and work 8 to 4 every day of the week, so i don't have as much time for stuff like before, but i can afford lots of game and other fun stuff now in exchange.
Here are some links for those interested.
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgX5ZgVhIE29bUacxLKZOYQ
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SWEBoy77
So what brought you back?
Well, i was looking back into some videos i made for the site (specifically the Le Impersonation day video using Dynast Warriors 8 Empires and its crazy character customisation) and i decided that it might be good time to check in and answer some question some people may have over why i left, unless they too have left and i simply rambling to a bunch of new people who never meet me.
Nevertheless, i felt like it was necessary to get it out and i hope it bring some clarity of what happend.
Okay, with all that done and over with. Now what?
I don't know yet, i might pop in from time to time to see what's going on and maybe make a post or blog entry. Maybe a sort of text lets play, think that could be fun if people want me to work on it. Or maybe i'll just disappear for another 6 years or so, who knows?
Anyway, thanks for reading this lengthy status update and maybe see you later?
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