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it really is a shame to hear that your feeling depressed. To realize once's flaws after so long can be quite painful, yet it is such common of a thing to happen, especial considering your age. Despite what you might think (or thought), your still a child and you are going to make allot of mistakes, its natural since all children are introduced to a world they fully don't understand, and they learn through observation, experience and mistakes. However, now that you realize your flaws and mistakes, you are a better person than those who act immature and doesn't realize it, since you now know that some of your behavior is not acceptable, you will sooner or later change into a much more maturer person because of this realization. I think most of us (if not all of us) have gone through something similar to what your currently going through, when i was first introduced to the internet, i also went nutty and tried to make everybody laugh without realizing that i was in reality not amusing at all, but then i slowly realized the truth and i have grown more mature by the time. Don't be ashamed of your mistakes, it is natural for these things to happen, just take your time to reflect and learn what you can and you'll become a better person no doubt, you already took the 1st step, its all a matter of time. Hope to see you soon. P:S: I am really happy over the fact you consider me a friend, thank you In fact, thanks to anybody on this forum who considers me a friend, it really means allot to me.

Ha. "Mael's blog of doom." How fitting. [Warning: Blunt and somewhat offensive] In any case, I'm glad to see that, some offense meant, you've finally realized that we don't view your jokes as particularly funny. Let me rephrase: we don't see YOUR JOKES as particularly funny. We don't hate you, we just dislike your jokes. And you don't have to contribute anything at all. We don't look at you and go "this nutter Mael hasn't done a single thing for the benefit of RRU." Instead, we look at you and go "this guy's being an absolute twat, why can't he be mature?" In fact, I've reported you a couple of times for spam and flaming. Don't take that to heart: it was my way to try and get your actions to change: lines of text in a cloud server hosted around Aussie and the USA hadn't helped. But I'm extremely glad to find that you've got your act together and want to change your actions. Taking a break to do so is even happier (no, not because you've gone, but because you've actually decided to act on what you want to do). I hope to be able to welcome you back to RRU when you (or I) come back. I won't hold the past against you at all: the leopard can change his spots! The new coat will look interesting and I'm looking forward to welcoming you back.

This has come as a bit of a surprise to me. I don't see you as "Mael: The Anime Hater or just Mael: The Unproductive Arsehole", to me you're another completely valid member of the RRU community. I don't believe that you don't fit in to RRU. You certainly don't need to have experience with Rock Raiders to "fit in" here, as we have equally popular modding research into other games going on. Even then, there is no prerequisite for you to be involved in classic games in any way to have a "right" to be here - the simple fact that you're here proves that you have something in common with some other member here, and that's all that is needed to form a community. Furthermore, don't waste your time comparing yourself to others. You are who you are, do not try and emulate or strive to become some other person. We already have that person in the world and don't need two of them. So what if people laugh more as a result of other people's jokes? That doesn't mean they value you any less. Don't judge yourself on the success of another person or you will never feel like you've achieved anything in life. One very useful thing I've learned is that there will always be someone better than you. Always. And that should not make you feel disheartened, rather feel encouraged to simply be the best you can be, that's all you can give and that's all the world asks for. I understand that you want to improve your "immaturity", not that I particularly see it, and I can offer some excellent advice on that. You're on the Internet. You have the incredible luxury of being able to review every comment you ever make before you make it. Before you click that post button, have a read through and think "does this sound rude/immature/etc?" Would you be offended if someone said it to you? You can even try reading it in a sarcastic or rude tone and seeing if it still sounds relatively okay. Another great piece of advice I have learned is to not be disheartened when I make mistakes. If you do make a poor comment or behave in a bad way, don't beat yourself up about it. Obviously you need to embrace the fact that you did something wrong and should deal with it, but do not feel depressed or in any way hate yourself for it. That only makes things worse and will not help you move on. If you still feel that you need a break then please go ahead, and I hope it does you good.

Dear Mael,I'm very sorry to hear you feel so deeply depressed and like an outcast, I really hope that your state of mind improves. However, I don't think that what you've stated, that you don't fit into the community is entirely true. Whilst RRU's primary focus is on LEGO video games new and old, RRU also focuses on other LEGO-related topics, hence the "LEGO General Discussion" forum. Moreover, LEGO isn't our only focus as individuals and members of the community, and I'm sure it's not your only focus either as we all have varied sets of interests. This is why the Off-topic partition of the forum exists, to discuss these other interests that don't directly relate to LEGO, but it's located at the very bottom as it isn't the forum's primary focus. But you've indicated at least somewhat of an interest in LEGO, the main focus of the community, so I would say that's reason enough to say you fit in as you share a common interest with many here. I don't know personally to what degree you've been productive within the community as I haven't observed everything you've done here since joining, but I can empathize with how you feel. For a long time up until around 2 years ago I didn't feel as though I contributed much to this community other than silliness and generally nonsensical stuff. It made me feel similarly to how you do currently - like I didn't fit in. Eventually though after a conversation one night with jamesster regarding Jim Spaceborn and all the unpublished material tied to it known to exist at that time, I became bound and determined to further research the development behind the series and to retrieve these unpublished materials, which I soon succeeded in doing. I then found that was something I had a talent for and a way that I could contribute significantly, not only to RRU, but to the LEGO community at large. Realizing this, I made the decision to expand the scope of my focus eventually to encompass retro LEGO comics, storybooks, and animated cartoons in general, and began building further on this talent for research and archival work to the present day, where it has since become my aim to research and document every known instance of this sort of media to the greatest extent within my personal ability. What I'm saying here is that each of us as individual people possess our own inherent strengths/talents as well as weaknesses/impairments. But like me, not everyone is as aware early in life of what their mental strengths are, and it can take longer for some to realize than others, but this is perfectly okay, as everyone grows, learns, and matures at their own pace, and I have faith that given time and added experience, you'll realize your own talents too as they develop. However, it's also important that we realize our weaknesses and strive for improvement on these also. As for your feeling like a comedic failure, it's important to note that not everyone shares the same sense of humour, and it seems like you're now starting to be considerate of others' likes and dislikes as far as humour, which is an important step. You can still retain your sense of humour, but in the future I feel it could be better to share it only with those you know to enjoy it and find it funny. Regarding acting like a jerk to people, always regarding your opinion to be right, and not handling arguments well: To reiterate some of what I said above, it's important to be considerate of others' likes and dislikes, as well as to be respectful of others' opinions, as not everyone will share the same perspective. But it is possible to have healthy and civil discourse so long as none of the participating parties are in any way insulted or flamed because of their beliefs. If you're unsure of why another person feels the way they do, use perspective taking, don't be afraid to ask questions, allow them to respond at their leisure, and don't interrupt until they've finished talking, be an active listener. Also do some emotional temperature-taking, if the person seems angry or especially frustrated, it may not be the best time to approach them and you may want to allow them time to cool down, as then your words and your perspective will be better received. Then contemplate what they said, ask yourself why they said what they said (what could be influencing the way they feel?), things like this help. If you're still unsure, ask follow-up questions until you feel you fully understand their perspective, and if you disagree you can tell them so, but in a polite and tactful manner, such as "I respect and understand your perspective, but I don't agree", then go on to explain why, but don't overdo it, and don't try to push/force your opinion on to the other person, but seek a shared and mutual understanding, despite differences. If you feel overwhelmed, try some deep breathing as this regulates the limbic system, and if you still don't feel completely at ease, try taking a short break and (maybe engage in activities you enjoy), again, let the other person know tactfully how you feel, and let them know that you enjoyed talking with them and hope to do so again sometime. I think you've made a good decision, I think taking a break is really important and could really help you both to calm down and put your mind at ease, as well as to give you ample opportunity to really consider and think over everyone else's perspectives. I really hope, Mael, that you find peace of mind, that you improve on those of the areas you've recognized you need improvement in, I hope you discover what you can do to really benefit the community, and ultimately that when you return here you're able to better get along with everyone. I wish you well, Mael. Sincerely, ~Sadie

I think it's great that you have realized that you have to change something in yourself, this is always the most important step in the process. While I can't say that I have always been supportive of you or your behaviour, I do think that you can redeem yourself if you take some time off and mature a bit. While RRU is extremely inclusive for all kinds of people, many here (myself included) struggle with coping with the immature ramblings of several members and normally just shrug it off and don't say anything about it, while at the same time those same members lose some respect of the offending poster. I hope that you can use your time off to improve as a poster and mature as a person, so that we can welcome you back to RRU with open arms. @Ben: The whole "look at me! I'm on the internet!" thing is a kids thing. Most people use the internet for entertainment (YouTube, for example), socializing (Facebook, Twitter, Forums, etc.) or information gathering (Wikipedia). Nobody should use the internet with the express purpose of getting noticed, because normally that kind of behaviour means that you have nothing to show or say, but still can't stop talking. You did do that a lot, and on occasion still do it. Then again, it might just be me that thinks this

To be honest, that's basically my RRU experience when I first joined, although I joined hoping to get noticed. I tried to be insane for laughs (or I didn't, I can't remember), I tried to start up discussion topics (which would end up with me arguing with every member's reply that, and actually did, prove my points wrong), I tried to work on projects (which I would forget about), I tried to get noticed (only to be ignored), and so on, and eventually got banned, moderated, and received warning points, all 8 are the scars from my past on RRU. And after that, I decided to wise up (I'm not saying you have to Mael, I'm just saying what worked with me), I did less projects (even though I'm struggling with one and about to struggle with another), made slightly more correct discussion points, recieved criticism and took it in while trying to not get frustrated, and finally realised the entire point of the Internet: most, if not everyone, wants to be noticed (feel free to say it's mostly kids) only to feel depressed when not noticed and then commit suicide (at least, that's what I think)... ...and I wasn't joking with that last part. So until you come back, I wish you the best while you refresh yourself. --Ben24x7--

Recognizing you need a break is good step, so is recognizing that you aren't that mature yet and don't worry, we'll all be here, waiting for you, a little older, a little wiser, but happy to see your return. I hope you have good break, and come back to RRU when you're ready to have some fun again.