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The Vending Machine


Phoenyx
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You get a bunch of slimy slugs invading your base to the tune of Invasion of the Gabber Robots by Laziest Men on Mars, followed by a failure text box saying "All Your Base Are Belong To Us!"

*Inserts a Blue Screen of Death* (How is that even possible?)

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The machine spits it back out and explodes due to Peanut Butter buildup. A new machine is put in its place.

*Inserts an engineer loadout consisting of The Widowmaker, the Lugermorph, The Gunslinger, the Humanitarian's Hichibaki, and the License to Maim*

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  • 2 weeks later...
The Brigadier

You get TIIIIIIIIIME TRAVELLLLLLLLLLLLL

Is that Marble Blast Gold?

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You got transported to a different galaxy in which you must control a bunch of orange jumpsuit-wearing dumbasses to mine for pointy green things in order for them to get home.

*inserts a goldfish*

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You get five green energy crystals and come under fire from Nintendo fans.

*Inserts five energy crystals and a level 1 Super Teleport*

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You get someone who rocks an awesome gunslinger engineer on TF2 and owes Gabe Newell a hat.

*Inserts said hat for Gabe Newell*

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