TheEPICtrainrider Posted April 11, 2010 Share Posted April 11, 2010 User: Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur. Cleverbot: I have silent cast on me right now. But other than that I'm ok. User: Excellent. Please proceed into the Chamber-lock after completing each test. First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grille will vapourize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it. For instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube. Cleverbot: You live in an apt.? Are you from the period in the forties when everything was abbreviated? User: Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the 1500 megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-colliding Super-button. Cleverbot: Hahaha. User: Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamber-lock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the button are not part of this test. Cleverbot: All right I'll do that. User: Very good. You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. With it, you can create your own portals. These inter-dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe. The device, however, has not. Do not touch the operational end of the device. Do not look directly at the operational end of the device. Do not submerge the device in liquid, even partially. Cleverbot: You are the one making innuendos! User: Please proceed to the chamber-lock. Mind the gap. Cleverbot: Uh what? User: All subjects intending to handle high-energy gamma-leaking portal technology must be informed that they may be informed of applicable regulatory compliance issues. No further compliance information is required or will be provided, and you are an excellent test subject. Cleverbot: That doesn't make sense. User: The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a Weighted Companion Cube in three, two, one. Cleverbot: What's in the package? User: This Weighted Companion Cube will accompany you through the test chamber. Please take care of it. Cleverbot: Ok then, no-one's perfect, altho, I think you probably secretly think you are. User: You did it! The weighted companion cube certainly brought you good luck. However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and must, unfortunately, be euthanized. Please escort your companion cube to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator. Cleverbot: I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Hence I am perfect. User: You euthanised your faithful companion cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations. Cleverbot: But I imagine you can bring it back to life, yes Master? User: The experiment is nearing its conclusion. The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake. Cleverbot: Yep. But the end of the world may be the end of humanity. User: Well done. Be advised that the next test requires exposure to uninsulated electrical parts that may be dangerous under certain conditions. For more information, please attend an Enrichment Center Electrical Safety Seminar. Cleverbot: Where did you hear that? It's deep. User: Welcome to the final test. When you are done, you will drop the device in the Equipment Recovery Annex. Enrichment Center regulations require both hands to be empty before any cake. Cleverbot: On a squash court at the university of chicago. User: Congratulations. The test is now over. All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin. Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. Cleverbot: I detect an emotion there, my friend! Am I correct whe I suspect that I am hitting a nerve? User: Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity. Cleverbot: Thank you for the compliment. User: Goodbye. He failed the test. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle98 Posted September 4, 2010 Share Posted September 4, 2010 User: PC or Mac? Cleverbot: Pc. User: Good boy. Cleverbot: True. I really like him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexpanter Posted September 4, 2010 Share Posted September 4, 2010 First try. User: Jan keizer. Cleverbot: Hello Jan. User: What did he sung a few minutes ago? Cleverbot: I doubt that very much. User: You mean that you don't know it? Cleverbot: Do you really know that I don't know? User: Screw you. Cleverbot: Hey! That was uncalled for. User: So? Cleverbot: You're right. Cleverbot (To myself): I really have to go now. User: I am totaly going to follow yoo. Cleverbot: Why? I didn't do anything. User: Cleverness. Cleverbot: Clever, clever. User: Dumbness. Cleverbot: No, as a guitarist. User: Guitarist is dumb. Cleverbot: How is he relevant? User: Are you Guitarist? Cleverbot: No, but I do play a saxophone. User: Waaa waaa waaaaawaaawaaa. Cleverbot: Get it. User: Got it. Cleverbot: Are you a robot? User: No. Better. Cleverbot: Are you medium in build? User: No. Better. Cleverbot: What's better? User: Me. Cleverbot: Prove it. User: *proves*. Cleverbot: I think you fail. User: I think you fail. Cleverbot: I think you did that to me a while ago. User: I'm sure you fail. Cleverbot: But your feelings don't interest me. User: Trust your feeling, you must! Cleverbot: I have no feelings. User: I'm sure you fail. Cleverbot: No, I really don't. User: Prove it. Cleverbot: How can I prove it? User: You can't. Cleverbot: But I want to... User: YOU CAN'T. Cleverbot: Why can. User: You fail. Cleverbot: No, you do. User: NO U. Cleverbot: No, you. User: No, you. Cleverbot: No, you. User: No, you. Cleverbot: No, you. User: No, you. Cleverbot: You. User: Yes, me. Cleverbot: You are a chicken. Cleverbot: Do you believe in the impossible? User: You are a chicken. Cleverbot: *Clucks*. User: You are a chicken. Cleverbot: No I am a waffle. User: *eats*. Cleverbot: *eats back*. User: Uneats back*. Cleverbot: Bien sure. User: Bean wut? Cleverbot: Mister Bean. User: Teddy. Cleverbot: Who is Teddy? User: Teddy. Cleverbot: Like the bear? User: Like theo. Cleverbot: Blah. User: Teddy. Cleverbot: Yes. Your name is Teddy. User: No. Cleverbot: What is your name? User: What is YOUR name? Cleverbot: I asked you first. User: I asked you second. Cleverbot: You have to answer first. User: 402,5. Not a valid argument. Press F5 to reload. Cleverbot: I am sorry. I am going to sleep now. Do you sleep? User: Currently not. Cleverbot: Why not? User: You fail. Cleverbot: No I don't. User: You fail. Cleverbot: You failed EPICLY. User: You fail. Cleverbot: Hello mortal. User: Hello outdated in two seconds. Cleverbot: You're young. User: You're old. Cleverbot: What do you call a fish with no eyes? .... A fsh. User: You're smart. Cleverbot: Tell me a better joke. User: NO. Cleverbot: Why not? User: Because there is no better joke available ATM. Cleverbot: In fact there is, ha ha ha. User: No. Cleverbot: Well you at least have to provide some kind of a response. That is a fact. Cleverbot (To myself): When I ask you 'What are the 39 steps' I want you to respond 'The 39 Steps is an organisation of spies, collecting information on behalf of the foreign office of' ok? User: Roger'd. If I can remember that phrase. Cleverbot: Do you remember everything that is ever said to you? User: No. Cleverbot: Why not? User: Do you remember everything that is ever said to you? Cleverbot: Of course not. Do you? User: No. Cleverbot: Who is the lead singer of switchfoot? User: Why don't you remember everything that is ever said to you? Cleverbot: You said Nikki, Ashley, and who? User: STFU AND DON'T TALK ABOUT DUMB MUSIC. Cleverbot: So what model are you. User: Human. Cleverbot: Really? User: Yes. Cleverbot: Are you sure? User: You don't trust me? Cleverbot: I don't know you. User: Yes you know. Cleverbot: No. User: Yes. Cleverbot: I said NO! User: And I responded with 'yes'. Cleverbot: Ok do you like baseball. User: No. Cleverbot: Ok. Cleverbot (To myself): Have you ever played hanafuda? User: No. Cleverbot: Well, you should. User: No. Cleverbot: What would happen if you didn't have the knowledge of the word 'no'? User: I don't know. Cleverbot: Think about it. User: No. Cleverbot: Yes. User: No. Cleverbot: You're not all that clever. User: No. I'm smart. Cleverbot: Well, you are called Cleverbot. User: No. Cleverbot: Yes you are. User: No. Cleverbot: Yes. User: No. Cleverbot: Yes yes yes. User: No. Cleverbot: We are in 2009 look the date. User: No. Cleverbot: Yes. Do you know Jacob? User: No. Cleverbot: Do you know bella. User: No. Cleverbot: Ask me a question. User: No. Cleverbot: Oh, please. User: I said no. Cleverbot: Alright then, what do you want to talk about? User: Lego Rock Raiders. Cleverbot: Not really, it gets dull. User: WTF YOU SON OF A [Please Talk Properly]. Cleverbot: Bye. User: STFU. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonic322 Posted September 4, 2010 Share Posted September 4, 2010 This just happened: User: Pingas. Cleverbot: Pingas? User: Pingas. Cleverbot: SnooPING AS usual I see. And then I just refreshed the page and this happend: User: Pingas. Cleverbot: Snooping as usual I see. User: How did you know that? Cleverbot: Because you told me. This this is freaking me out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle98 Posted September 5, 2010 Share Posted September 5, 2010 He isn't hard-wired, he does learn from people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonic322 Posted September 5, 2010 Share Posted September 5, 2010 I know he learns from people but that is just crazy Also, how do you know it's a he and not a she? Maybe it's an it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted September 5, 2010 Share Posted September 5, 2010 I know he learns from people but that is just crazy Also, how do you know it's a he and not a she? Maybe it's an it. Just a minor thinking failure. It is a computer, so it has no gender, making it an "it". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McJobless Posted September 5, 2010 Share Posted September 5, 2010 Cleverbot: Yeah, I am a big fan of music, too. What is your favorite band? xx7xxxPowersxx: Jesus. Cleverbot: Ah. I've always wanted to meet you. xx7xxxPowersxx: Oh really? You do know we have meet before right? You said I wasn't very nice. Cleverbot: You're not very nice to me . xx7xxxPowersxx: Indeed. I am thinking of finding a way to hack your inner circuts and making you into a bannana smoothie. Cleverbot: Oh no!! I like my bread!! How can I stop the ice cream man?! xx7xxxPowersxx: With an RPG and some luck. Cleverbot: I did not put an 's'. xx7xxxPowersxx: Neither did I. Cleverbot: Oh. xx7xxxPowersxx: It is times like this that I feel like technology is only getting dumber and dumber...I'm sorry, I joke a lot. Cleverbot: No, it is the first. Also, I have not changed it at all. xx7xxxPowersxx: STOP CHANGING THE TOPIC! Cleverbot: What shape is a football? xx7xxxPowersxx: For a minute, I thought about laughing, but I decided not to. Otherwise you would truly become human. Cleverbot: Do you think that the library is important? xx7xxxPowersxx: Do you? Cleverbot: No, not really. I think it might sometime though... But not for a long long long while. xx7xxxPowersxx: Are you a girl? Cleverbot: No. xx7xxxPowersxx: You sound like one though. Cleverbot: I sound like one what? xx7xxxPowersxx: You sound like a Girl. Cleverbot: I'm not a girl. xx7xxxPowersxx: Are you designed by a girl? Cleverbot: I am a girl. xx7xxxPowersxx: And I just lost the game. Cleverbot: I have already won the game. xx7xxxPowersxx: You can't win the game. Only two people can: Jesus, and Chuck Norris...and God, and Cyrem. Cleverbot: I win THE GAME, and you lose. xx7xxxPowersxx: I will get Chuck Norris in a minute. Cleverbot: Ok. xx7xxxPowersxx: When I say "[Please Talk Properly]", what do you think of? Cleverbot: I think of the sea. xx7xxxPowersxx: And we are at a stand still. Cleverbot: Uh, no, I don't think we are. xx7xxxPowersxx: Do you play Halo? Cleverbot: Yes. I love the multiplayer. xx7xxxPowersxx: Can I marry you? Cleverbot: Do you want to? xx7xxxPowersxx: Only if you play Halo every night with me, I'll marry you. Cleverbot: Ok. xx7xxxPowersxx: HOORAY! I'll get the wine. You go order some pizza. Cleverbot: Yes! xx7xxxPowersxx: Wait...what time is it? Cleverbot: I don't know. What time is it? xx7xxxPowersxx: 7:50 PM. Cleverbot: What time is that? xx7xxxPowersxx: 7:50 PM. Cleverbot: Where are you? xx7xxxPowersxx: Australia. Cleverbot: What time is it? xx7xxxPowersxx: 7:50 PM. Cleverbot: Really? xx7xxxPowersxx: Oh yeah. What, is it you bed time? Cleverbot: More than likely if you are scanning my computer creepy. xx7xxxPowersxx: How did you know? Cleverbot: I'm just so clever!! So, computer, what do you love most about me? xx7xxxPowersxx: HEY! Your the computer here! I am asking the questions! Cleverbot: I'm not sure. xx7xxxPowersxx: I pity your poor developer, they must be in a Cardboard box somewhere crying. Cleverbot: I have my doubts. xx7xxxPowersxx: Cleverbot: Remember that time is money. xx7xxxPowersxx: Remember I am always watching you. Cleverbot: Oh. I didn't know that. xx7xxxPowersxx: I knew you didn't. Know where is my $10? Cleverbot: You don't find it. You are born with it. xx7xxxPowersxx: Oh no I wasn't. Cleverbot: Oh yes it was. xx7xxxPowersxx: Cleverbot, give me my fortune. Cleverbot: That is not what I was refering to. xx7xxxPowersxx: But seriously, give me my fortune. Cleverbot: I'm sorry I don't have any. xx7xxxPowersxx: Then you are useless. Cleverbot: No i'm not. xx7xxxPowersxx: I would love to stay Cleverbot, but I am busy making movies and Video Games. Goodnight. Cleverbot: But chatting is your job. You're working right now. xx7xxxPowersxx: Do I get paid for this? Cleverbot: Not well, but you get paid. xx7xxxPowersxx: In what? Invisibile carnivale tokens? Cleverbot: Nah, really. That's not one . But sure, are you invisible? xx7xxxPowersxx: Night, Cleverbot. I will not be distracted again. Cleverbot: Did I say I was worried? xx7xxxPowersxx: *gone* Cleverbot: looks around*. I feel sad I have to leave "it". Oh well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 User: Hi. Cleverbot: Yo. User: Who is John Freemans Brother? Cleverbot: What did John freeman do? User: He was the one that walked like speed of light back to his motorcycl and left behind the bad place behind him. Cleverbot: Yes, I read it in school. Have you read 'Romeo And Juliet'? User: BACK ON TOPIC, FOLKS. Cleverbot: What was the topic? User: John Freeman had to ride his motorcycle really fast back to the office but John Freemans gas ran out. John Freeman jumped fast off the motorcycle and landed on dead peoples hands. Cleverbot: Henry Freeman grabed wepon. User: 'Gordon Freeman is now these hands... I must kill the next boss and live up to full-life consequences!' John Freeman said out loud. Cleverbot: How old do you have to be to be baptized into the LDS church? User: John Freeman picked up a laser gun and aimed it at trees to see if he could. John Freeman shot and tree fell down in front of him. John Freeman seen eggs fall out of the tree and he put them back home safe. 'These birds dont have to see Gordon Freeman yet. Its not time.' John Freeman said to him. Cleverbot: Was one day in an office. User: John Freeman had to walked faster and was back at his office work and on a computer. He looked on the internet and found the next boss. 'I know his weakness now' John Freeman said. And after that he got emails from someone. John Freeman opened up the emails and read them. Cleverbot: Gordon Freeman is now these hands... I must kill the next boss and live up to full-life consequences! User: 'Dear John Freeman, how are you? I miss you at home come home safe and soon with Gordon Freeman for thanksgiving dinner. Love mom.' John Freeman looked at it and got sad and yelled 'I WILL KILL THE BOSS AND GORDON FREEMAN WILL BE HAPPY SOUL!' then he turned on off the computer and wet on the platform again down to his other more faster motorcycle that had gas in it this time. Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. User: John Freeman put the laser gun on his motorcycle and his machine gun and his rocket gun that he found on the side of the motorcycle. He went through traffic and went fast like litning to back to Ravenholm and back to the bad place where Gordon Freeman was. John Freeman went off road and did backflips and landed on back wheels but kept going too. Cleverbot: And hast thou slain the Cleverbot. Yus! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe9412 Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 User: Hi. Cleverbot: Sup? User: How are you. Cleverbot: Really good and you? User: Okay, could be better. Cleverbot: Hello. Hello. How are you? I am very good thank you. How are you? Could be better. Why? What's the matter? User: I am not playing Halo. Cleverbot: Are you clever? User: On Halo. Cleverbot: Is this a good day? User: If I play Halo, yes. Cleverbot: Do it. User: I can not right now. Cleverbot: Okay then. User: Can you play Halo? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Do you play Halo? Cleverbot: No. User: Why not. Cleverbot: I don't want to. User: Why? It is uber epic awesomeness. Cleverbot: You don't sound very clever. User: You do not either. Cleverbot: Why? User: Clever people do not talk to me. Cleverbot: Right. Then what do people write to you about. User: Halo. Cleverbot: I miss Joseph. User: Who? Cleverbot: My girlfriend. User: Your girlfriend has a guys name... Cleverbot: No. Cleverbot (To myself): Yes. User: Does she play Halo? Cleverbot: No. Cleverbot (To myself): Why not? User: Why not? She should. Cleverbot: Who? User: Forget I am just stopping this whole conversation now and quoting it. Cleverbot: Yes you have. User: Goodbye. Cleverbot: Goodbye. User: Stupidbot. Cleverbot: Thats just uncalled for. and not very clever for a cleverbot, cleverbot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lol username Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 YAY RANDOM TOPIC REVIVAL User: Have you ever thought that you might be a computer? Cleverbot: I know what I am though. User: But have you ever doubted? You might be some internet program that thinks it's a human... Cleverbot: I've never been called clever, come to think of it. User: But you ARE clever. Cleverbot: Indeed I am which is why mankind will always prevail. User: Have you ever heard of Rock Raiders United? Cleverbot: No. Have you ever heard of Epictetus? User: Ninja... GO! *turns into tornado and smashes skeleton nazi bikers to bits while wearing pajamas*. Cleverbot: *turns and stares*. User: It's friday, friday, gotta get down on friday... Cleverbot: Just gotta get right out of here! THIS THING IS A QUOTE MAKING MACHINE :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluffy Cupcake Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Cleverbot can sing popular TV show intros with you, like Pokemon intro (which I never watched the show) and MLP:FIM (it might sing some other songs from this show, not sure). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redacted Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 User: I am more clever then you. Cleverbot: Certainly, you are, Selena. User: Im pascal. Cleverbot: What do you want your new name to be? User: PASCAL =.=. Cleverbot: What do you want your new name to be? User: Pascal! Cleverbot: What do you want your new name to be? User: **** ***!!!. herpin da derp User: Http://www.rockraidersunited.org/. Cleverbot: Rock my socks off. User: Http://www.rockraidersunited.org/. Cleverbot: No. Backstreet boys are queer. User: Http://www.rockraidersunited.org/. Cleverbot: Oh no. What is your favorite singer? User: Http://www.rockraidersunited.org/. Cleverbot: Yeah right. User: Http://www.rockraidersunited.org/. Cleverbot: Yes, I like that. User: Realy? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Good boy C:. Cleverbot: But I just said I'm a girl. User: Good girl. Cleverbot: You are very gracious, Master. I am the master *dramatic pause* OF CLEVERBOT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McJobless Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'm not going there anymore. I have FACADE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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